From birth they got
Johnson
Felch
Dong
Annis

The lived in
Ironwood, MN
Butztown, PA
Long Dong, China
Cockland, OH

They shopped for
ReJoyn
Crack Cream
Anusol
Femstat

Average names
Normal places to live
Typical products
Definitely not funny

Bending over
That's the goal
Dropping items
Exposing glorie's hole

Maybe a golf ball
Could be my keys
When they're watching
I give them a tease

I'm not really a klutz
I just act as such
I shake it and I wiggle
Oh how they all giggle

No need for Depends
Or ribbed Trojan Enz
'Cause this game that I play
Keeps all people away

Phil was a follower of the Buddha
Who lived only on edam and goudha
One day with a start
He ripped a great fart
That contained much more air than it shoulda.

Oh you mottled wheel
Of musky veinage.
How your crumbleness
Livens my senses!

In sauce for pasta,
Perfects my burger,
Chicken gets cordon,
Risotto savored.

Poured over salad,
On crackers with wine,
The morning after
Is your most devine.

Ingestion, my dear:
All well good and fine.
But the Dutch Oven
Is when you best shine.

Shower Accident
Landed on a Renuzit
In the E.R. now

Ephemeral I,
Present once
But now have passed,
Departed dearly.

Wherever I am
I know myself.
Senses alive
Smelling, tasting, yearning.

Where I have been
Who is to know?
And without knowing
Whence immortality?

I must, therefore,
Provide that whiff
Ever so subtle
Of my essence

So what remains
After my passing,
Scarcely a wafer:
A biscuit of air.

There once was a man from Glasgow,
He had a huge growth on his elbow,
It moved to his knee,
He felt he should pee,
He couldn't and now he is yellow.

I love loving to love love.
Loving to love love is lovely.
Loving ardor is lovelier than liking like
because loving is harder than liking.
Liking to like like is still grand,
I just really love loving to love love.
I don't hate hating to hate hate,
that is not lovely.
If you love to love love,
I love you!