We here at Advanced Poetry have a hard time understanding why limericks are treated with such disdain, and yet the haiku is so revered.

Really, what is the difference?  Both a very short with a rigid structure so the poet is forced to pick words with exacting care and can't meander endlessly ala Longfellow's Evangeline, and limericks have the added challenge of a specific rhyme scheme.  That makes it even harder, to us.

But maybe the common non-advanced use of limericks has an advantage:  even non-poets are familiar with the form because of their very ubiquity.  This makes them much more accessible to the common person and gives the advanced poet a stealth backdoor.  The unwitting reader thinks they are reading something frivolous but instead something important and meaningful has been snuck into their mind, which will later explode with a sudden insight, much like a meme IED.
 
 
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What? Are you expecting snow?
Anybody else notice the disaster that has struck the women's beach volleyball competition at the London Olympics?  Apparently it has been cold (and I assume rainy) in London recently.  Nothing new there.  However this has forced many of the competitors to resort to wearing what amounts to full body wet suits (with some strange 80s-like combination of bikini tops and/or bottoms).  If this becomes a trend, it will undoubtedly be devistating to beach volleyball.

The editorial staff at Advanced Poetry are fans of this sport.  We're not just perverted guys who like to ogle at hot women in bikinis.  In fact, we've never even noticed that part of the game.  We just like the strategy and the competition.  Heck, we wouldn't even notice if Roseanne Barr was out there playing in a bikini if she was a good volleyball player.  We honestly wouldn't throw up all over the place and quickly turn the station.  We also wouldn't immediately throw the TV out into the yard and burn it. None of that would happen.

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Now that's more like it!
Our concern is how these new jump suits restrict the movement of the athelets.  Look at the picture above.  That poor chic is clearly struggling to get off the ground to strike the ball.  There is no way this shot is going to get returned.  Whereas the hot broad pictured to the right is much freer to dive, move, and undulate to get to the ball.  Clearly this shot is going to be returned for a score.

Just to reiterate, our editorial staff is not trying to be sexist.  We respect the atheletic abilities of these hot babes.  We just want them to be free to compete without being restricted by what amounts to a full body cast.  Let's fix this now before it ruins the sport.


 
 
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Vanilla Ice by Dave Kleinschmidt / CC-BY-SA
When we launched the Advanced Poetry website (and its newly launched companion site The Brown Trout Conservancy), we did so with years of planning, passion, and attention to detail.  In fact, we found such a demand for our ideas that we were basically forced to create the sites.

As such, we created an associated twitter feed to more quickly communicate with other like-minded advanced poets.  In less than a week, we have hit 6 followers!  We don't mean to brag, but by all subjective measures this is pretty impressive.  If you take our family members out that still leaves 3 followers.  Of note, the master Lyrical Poet Robert Van Winkle A.K.A. Vanilla Ice has recently joined our rapidly growing world of followers.  We would expect as much given his demonstrated passion and aptitude for advanced poetry (and we suspect some occasional digestive discomforts).  Speaking of that, if you haven't seen The Vanilla Ice Project on the diy network, you need to check it out.  Pure genious.  Pure poetry.

 
 
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This is a photo from the 2012 annual Advanced Poetry Convention held recently in Bayard, WV.  The individuals in the picture were competing in an extemporaneous freestyle poetry battle.  Unfortunately this battle ended after nearly 3 hours when the authorities were called in to break things up.   Harsh words were being exchanged by the last remaining participants.  Violence erupted as some slaping, poking, tickling, and name calling was reported.  Judges indicated the new rule that awarded points for unique timbre was a contributing factor to the violence as the competitors resorted to moaning, grunting, squealing, and even flatulence sounds to gain an advantage.  Still, congratulations to all 357 participants in this years event (they all qualified in their regional competitions). 

Pictured from left to right:  Horace Koch from Bird in Hand, PA, Gern Blensdon from a small unihabited island near the Gulf of Tonkin, and Ed Ing from southern Antarctica.

 
 
You may have noticed occasional posts on this site related to body fluids, digestive issues, and farm animals.  The executive editorial staff at Advanced Poetry has been encouraged and excited to see how these complex issues are handled in such a mature manner by the site contributors. 

Scientific studies have found a direct and undeniable correlation between poetic intellegence (that's the scientific term describing those individuals with Advanced Poetry aptitude - approximately .0125% of the general population) and body function hyperawareness while in a farm environment (note:  according to the latest scientific literature, one doesn't have to actually be on or near a farm, but can simply be looking at a farm picture or thinking about a farm picture).  For those uninitiated, this may seem a bit hard to understand.  We ask you to just review the science and accept it without debate.
 
 
Hogs are much like dogs.  They just have shorter hair for the most part, snort more, and like to eat raw potatoes.  Which reminds me of a poem.  Of course everything reminds me and the editorial staff at Advanced Poetry, of a poem.  I'm sure you can relate.  If not, you probably belong elsewhere.  Maybe there is a Beginners Poetry site for people like you.
 

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