This is a photo from the 2012 annual Advanced Poetry Convention held recently in Bayard, WV.  The individuals in the picture were competing in an extemporaneous freestyle poetry battle.  Unfortunately this battle ended after nearly 3 hours when the authorities were called in to break things up.   Harsh words were being exchanged by the last remaining participants.  Violence erupted as some slaping, poking, tickling, and name calling was reported.  Judges indicated the new rule that awarded points for unique timbre was a contributing factor to the violence as the competitors resorted to moaning, grunting, squealing, and even flatulence sounds to gain an advantage.  Still, congratulations to all 357 participants in this years event (they all qualified in their regional competitions). 

Pictured from left to right:  Horace Koch from Bird in Hand, PA, Gern Blensdon from a small unihabited island near the Gulf of Tonkin, and Ed Ing from southern Antarctica.


Hugh G. Rection
07/26/2012 4:21pm

I remember that day very well. The field was so sloppy and wet and mushy, just like my underwear when it was my turn to present my art. I was more nervous than a home schooler at a spelling bee. But I tell you what, that was the day I met Elsie. She had the biggest utters I had ever seen on a heffer of her size, which was like a small-medium. Saying good-bye was such sweet sorrow (that is advanced poetry for it was hard to say goodbye). I am looking forward to the next competition and I am hoping my moaning and grunting will be enough for the judges to make me the winner.

Brown N. Miepants
07/27/2012 11:05am

As I recall, you spent more time focused on that damned cow than competing. Poetry battles are all about attention to details. That's why you lost in the 6th round. You moaned when you should have grunted. I took that mistake and made you pay with the classic line from King Missile "To walk among the pigs" followed by a high pitched scream and guttural moose call. Better luck next year Hugh.


Leave a Reply.

Proud to be sponsored by The Brown Trout Conservancy