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What? Are you expecting snow?
Anybody else notice the disaster that has struck the women's beach volleyball competition at the London Olympics?  Apparently it has been cold (and I assume rainy) in London recently.  Nothing new there.  However this has forced many of the competitors to resort to wearing what amounts to full body wet suits (with some strange 80s-like combination of bikini tops and/or bottoms).  If this becomes a trend, it will undoubtedly be devistating to beach volleyball.

The editorial staff at Advanced Poetry are fans of this sport.  We're not just perverted guys who like to ogle at hot women in bikinis.  In fact, we've never even noticed that part of the game.  We just like the strategy and the competition.  Heck, we wouldn't even notice if Roseanne Barr was out there playing in a bikini if she was a good volleyball player.  We honestly wouldn't throw up all over the place and quickly turn the station.  We also wouldn't immediately throw the TV out into the yard and burn it. None of that would happen.

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Now that's more like it!
Our concern is how these new jump suits restrict the movement of the athelets.  Look at the picture above.  That poor chic is clearly struggling to get off the ground to strike the ball.  There is no way this shot is going to get returned.  Whereas the hot broad pictured to the right is much freer to dive, move, and undulate to get to the ball.  Clearly this shot is going to be returned for a score.

Just to reiterate, our editorial staff is not trying to be sexist.  We respect the atheletic abilities of these hot babes.  We just want them to be free to compete without being restricted by what amounts to a full body cast.  Let's fix this now before it ruins the sport.


 


Zoltan Jones
08/01/2012 6:19pm

You make a good point. I would be just as upset if the female weightlifters were forced to wear less clothing because it would not be comfortable for them to sport a thong while trying to lift those massive amounts of weight over their heads. The resulting injuries to the lifters and those around them could possibly never heal.

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Jack Hoff
08/01/2012 7:54pm

Comment deleted

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Whigling DooghDhadhs
08/01/2012 9:51pm

I agree with half of your argument. However, it seems that men should wear full body suits made of burlap to prevent any unfair advantage attributed to member size and the extent of any manscaping.

Women on the other hand should be completely nude. None of this is sexist. It is just an attempt to make the games more fair.

Cyncy Tiv
08/02/2012 11:45am

Hey Jack. I thought this site was a place for free and open discussion of ideas. You offended me with that "idiots" comment. I get very upset and stressed when I hear that sort of thing. When I saw your comment I had to close my door, put on my headphones and crank up Careless Wisper by George Michael. Over and over and over and over and ...

Anne L. Wortz
08/02/2012 12:26pm

Generally I don't bother responding to people who show such a rude lack of manners, but buried in your abusive rant was at least one salient point: the best apparel for Olympic athletes of any gender or sport is olive oil. I can imagine no event that wouldn't be improved by mandating olive oil as the only acceptable uniform, and that includes many of the winter events.

Gene Ital Worts
08/06/2012 2:41am

I could not help but notice that the sprinters appear to be running with armadillos in their trousers. That seems like too big of an inconvenience to be putting these young men through. Just let them run the race without some creature in their shorts trying to nibble at their genitalia.

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