I fell down a well and was stuck for four days.
I wasn't too worried at first because the nights were warm,
I knew I could go without food, and there was plenty of water.
But that all changed on the second day
When my attempt to fart turned into a liquid dooky.

I took equestrian lessons on a hot summer day.
I dressed smartly in loose shorts and no undies
To let the breezes pass through.
Bouncing around on the horse's back
My sitting bones anvilled my unrestrained juevos
Into a screaming lump of Silly Putty.

I told my wife to start wearing skirts more often
Because her ass looked really big in her jeans.

I grabbed the tail of a cow that had spend the day
Eating nothing but fresh green grass.
Brian Ferguson
9/7/2012 12:40:37 pm

Until now, poetry has never made me cry. I've always prided myself on my academic approach to poetry. Most consider me an advanced poet so I feel at home on this website. I've never been challenged in my beliefs like I am on this site. This poem in particular, changed my life. This is raw, sad, and very powerful. The ideas in this poem will rattle the very foundation of what it means to write poetry. All I can say is, "Wow". The cow imagery has shaken me to the core. The team at Advanced Poetry earns my respect and loyalty. I am yours.


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