I received early notification at 9:17 AM
Just shortly after my second cup of coffee,
Which might be a significant factor.
But I was on the phone negotiating
With the janitorial service
So I dismissed it with a single clench.

Second notice came during my power lunch
Halfway through a steak of swordfish,
Allowing myself a sly appraisal of the waitress
Over the rim of my appletini.
I acknowledged the message as received
And it was gone in a pinch.

On the way back from lunch
I chose to step from the elevator
Into the executive lavatory
With its sagging attendant
And single window overlooking the park.

After sitting it emerged almost immediately
A single corn-studded issuance
Long enough to make the slow-motion dive
Without a ripple or splash.
The first wipe with the plush executive paper
Came away with no hint of residuals.
The sense of relief was so complete
I knew that there would be no more.
It left this world in a single flush
So soon after emergence that there was no odor.
Khonstundt Bhurneen
8/21/2012 03:19:45 am

Beautiful. There aren't nearly enough poems written about the executive habit of "corn chasing". Apparently this all started on a bet before a polo match in the mid 1900s. Typical "I bet I can eat and expel my caviar lunch before you". It was reportedly difficult to judge a winner so corn was introduced around 1960. Corn, as you know, is recognized as the perfect digestive timing solution.

Great trip down memory lane with this sophisticated poem. Glad to see this activity is still popular with the upper crust.


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