Snapping the carrot.
Waxing the dolphin.
Burping the worm.
Polishing the knob.
Stretching the taffy.

Ralphing.
A Technicolor yawn.
Driving the porcelain bus.

Brown cappin'.
Touching cotton.
Gophering.
Ready to launch a butt missile.

Dropping a dookie.
Dropping the kids off at the pond.
Pinching a loaf.
Wynkin Stahrphish
8/17/2012 19:00:24

I feel that this poem is like an introduction to what it means to be a man. Teaching the and other similar phrases to our youth will better prepare them for the challenges that they will face in the future. To that I say:

Arm wrestling the anaconda
Spitting at the Ty-D Bol Man
Percolating some colon coffee
Heaving a Havana

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Rubin Butts
8/18/2012 17:59:18

Such variety, and all much prettier than using the normal terms.

"Technicolor yawn" makes a hideous act sound very colorful, artistic even, while "driving the porcelain bus" is very matter-of-fact and business-like.

"Snapping the carrot" sounds kinda violent, but then "waxing the dolphin" is more respectable of the dolphin and "polishing the knob" sounds like it's just rote routine.

It just goes to show that even the things we don't normally talk about can be made more beautiful and given that extra twist that adds nuance to the act.

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