Monday, July 9
  Breakfast:
      7 slices bacon
      2 eggs, over easy
      biscuits with gravy
      coffee
  Morning snack:
      Red hot beef jerkey stick
      coffee
  Lunch:
      Chips with "hot as hell" salsa
      3 bean and cheese burritos in mole sauce
      Spanish rice w/extra salsa
  Afternoon snack:
      Kielbasa hot dog with sauerkraut and chili.
      Vinegar and oil potato chips
  Dinner:
      Thai-hot pad thai
      1 IPA beer
      2 Stout beers
  Late-nite snack
      Frozen pepperoni pizza

  Re-emergence:  
      Wet, explosive
      17 separate wipes
      3 flushes
      Later found additional spotting on wall
  Weight change:
      2.5 pounds


Tuesday, July 10
  Breakfast:
      Two eggs on whole wheat toast with hollandaise
      Wedge of cheese
      Black tea
  Lunch:
      Gruyere and Swiss panini
      Dried apricot and date salad    
  Dinner:
      Cheese pizza with breadsticks
      "Atomic" Buffalo wings
      1 beer
      1 Rum and soda
  Late-nite snack:
      Crackers with cheese-like spread

Wednesday, July 11
  Breakfast:
      High-fiber breakfast cereal
      Banana
  Lunch:
      1 appletini
      Beer-battered calamari
      Melba toast with garlic hummus dip
      Salt-crusted ribeye
      Baked potatoe with bacon bits and sour cream
      1 slice chocolate cheesecake
  Afternoon snack:
      2 slices cake at office party
  Dinner:
      Gin martini
      Italian bread dipped in olive oil
      Stuffed manicotti
      Gelato
      2 glasses brandy

Thursday, July 12
  Breakfast:
      High-fiber breakfast cereal
      Metamucil in orange juice
  Lunch:
      Skipped.  Tried to nap on office couch
  Dinner:
      Psyllium husks in cranberry juice
      4 glasses water
  Late-nite snack:
      Bag of prunes

  Re-emergence:
      Hard as a rock.  Painful to pass.
      Caused some bleeding.
      11 wipes, mostly blood.
      3 flushes.  Overflow started on the second.
      Despite above, profound sense of relief
  Weight change:
      9 pounds


Friday, July 13
  Breakfast:
      1 cranberry bran muffin with a hint of butter
      1 slice canteloupe
      1 glass orange juice
      Green tea
  Lunch:
      Sauteed mixed veggies
      Large salad
  Dinner:
      Herb-crusted free-range chicken breast
      Saffron-infused grilled squash
      Large green salad

  Re-emergence:
      Firm but yielding.  
      2 wipes, no residue.  
      Single flush.
  Weight change:
      1 pound

How do I make every day a Friday?
Kynguvda Toyluttphylars
8/4/2012 13:41:46

I really enjoyed the poem but must admit it made me a bit jealous. To enjoy such fine food on a daily basis, heaven. While the author clearly spent considerable time preparing this advanced poem to make it sound real, he did miss a few points of realism.

First, a more detailed description of the byproduct would have been nice. Something like "gnarled and twisted like a old twig with well distributed yellow chunks of corn". Second, odor details? Come on, you call yourself an advanced poet? Just kidding. I may be nitpicking just because I love the subject and approach of this poem so very much. This has a feeling of realism that I can almost taste.

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Phyllis Steen
8/4/2012 16:27:58

I thought this one was a mistake. That somebody had posted their diary instead of their poem or something.

Sure, I've learned to trust AdvancedPoetry -- every poem is always here for a reason. If I don't understand it at first it must be because I'm missing something.

Butt still, I thought this one was a clerical mix-up somewhere. Until I saw your comment, and realized I really needed to think about it some more.

And, you know, you're right. It doesn't look like a poem, it doesn't sound like a poem, but it really is, and an Advanced one at that. And now that I think about it, I really like it. Especially the part around about Thursday morning where you can start to get a sense of real urgency, of desperation.

Butt it all works out in the end.

Reply
Per Diem
8/5/2012 21:48:49

What makes this such an advanced poem is that it captures the true essence of this person's emotional battle. It was quite a journey from Monday to Friday that I went on with this author and it really spoke to my intestinal feelings. It was relieving to see the wet explosions from Monday were able to solidify into lovely regular stool. That was beautiful.

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