There once was a man named McKinney
A hillbilly who wasn't looking for a whinny
He was looking for a hog as he walked through that bog
When down the river came a canoe full of plenty

The city slickers were out for a vacation
Floating down the Cahulawassee was the location
They stopped for a rest and were beating their chests
Unfortunately they just arrived in mountainman nation

Now those hillbillys had a thing for kin and farm animals
The story of their inbreeding has been chronicled in numerous annals
They came down out of the holler and grabbed Ned Beatty by the collar
Pushed him over a log, "You look just like a hog" and off came Ned's garanimals

McKinney made Ned squeal like a pig as he bent him over a moss-covered twig
While the toothless Cowboy watched in delight
Burt Reynolds arrived, with his bow by his side
Shot McKinney and Cowboy escaped into the night

Things to remember when planning your next vacation to hillbillyville:
1. That river is there.  You get in there and can't get out you'll wish it wasn't
2. You don't know nothin'
3. You don't beat the river
4. Hope you don't have a pretty mouth
5. Keep rowing if you hear banjo music

Behold!  The cow:  whose existence is easily understood.
They have but one role for which they are best employed
Soul-search within a cow's eyes:  complacent they, not annoyed,
For their essence accepts the reason they are deployed:
A cow's purpose on this planet is to be our food.